Month: February 2012

Closing Doors

“We think we understand the rules when we become adults but what we really experience is a narrowing of the imagination.” ~ David Lynch

I am not convinced that I will ever understand all of the rules by which I live. Although, it is important to remember that “understand” is not the same as “agree with” or “acknowledge.” Depending on the situation, not acknowledging the rules leads to imprisonment. Stabbing. Shooting. Driving drunk. While in many other endeavors, choosing not to acknowledge the rules is rewarded. Scientific discovery! New methods of communication! Less wrinkles! Longer drive!

Let’s look at the definitions of “imagination”:

  1. the act or power of forming a mental image of something not present to the senses or never before wholly perceived in reality
  2. creative ability
  3. ability to confront and deal with a problem
  4. the thinking or active mind
  5. a creation of the mind; especially, an idealized or poetic creation
  6. fanciful or empty assumption

The tension in the quote results from two false assumptions made by adults:

  1. That they understand the rules; and
  2. That increased imagination is unnecessary to better understand those same rules which they falsely assume they understand.

It is a necessary chore of life to force myself to question nearly everything, which is another way of saying that I (and you!) should always live life the way I want to live it while acknowledging the rules that need to be acknowledged, deciding for myself which rules are are worth agreeing with and following based on the consequences of not following those rules and my personal beliefs, which rules deserve further study for me to better understand them, and, in turn, lead a fuller and more purposeful life. And while slogging through the life’s muddy pool of rules, I must always actively remember to use my imagination to imagine the possibilities that fall outside life’s staid prescriptions.

Cool as a Kid; Cool Again Now

I was reminded, just now, of a childhood phenomenon involving Silly Putty and Sunday comics. The trick, as I’m guessing you know by now, was to press the Silly Putty onto the Peanuts’ strip (or your strip of choosing!) and then slowly peel it away. The newspaper ink transferred to the Silly Putty. That alone was entertaining, but even more so was contorting the transposed comic by stretching the Silly Putty.

The Silly Putty Phenomenon just reoccurred when I removed the transparent Post-It note “flag” from my Michigan Court Rules of 1985 book and the ink was transposed from page 134 and onto my Post-It note.

My memory is that those mornings spent perusing, but not earnestly consuming, the news of the day on the living room floor were always bright and sunny, but with the possibility of Sunday School looming.

The Fine Horizon Underfoot

“Look,” he said as he pointed at the distant lake shore where the early-morning mist lingered, depressing the plump tangerine lines of sunlight on the placid surface water. She turned and looked as they walked through the dew-covered bluegrass. “Indistinguishable,” she said. “Which would you choose?” He stopped them from going further and placed his arm on her shoulder so that his finger tips could caress her collarbone. And he pulled her slight frame closer to his, and leaned his head against hers. “I will always choose you, and then, while both will remain indistinguishable, it will not be from one another, but from life without you.” His eyes welled with tears because his eyes often welled with tears when he let his mind wander to the future – to what he would or would not receive from her – to dreams of dreams coming true – to the moments he’d never choose to miss, but sometimes would because that’s what happens when life is folded in two or multiplied by half. “We are, and forever will be, standing on a fine horizon underfoot.”

Written from 7:30 pm to 8:00 pm on Wednesday, February 15th, 2012 in my office in Traverse City, Michigan.

OneWord: Adopt, Maze, Clue, Flirt

Adopt: We learn to adopt at a young age. Oh, wait, scratch that. I was thinking that you said, “adapt.” Well let’s adopt a new direction to this post and think about it for a little bit before we get ourselves in more trouble.

Maze: The fog set in and our pace quickened. “We’re going the wrong way,” John said. “The moss on the tree indicates we’re going south. Camp is north.” We’d been hiking for three hours and none of us knew where north was, let alone camp. I kept thinking that I could smell Lindsey’s cooking – camp roast, mashed potatoes, and caramelized carrots – but my mind was playing tricks. Edna tripped on a root, and screamed. My head whipped around to see the commotion. As the maze of hysteria set in midst the evergreens, taller now than their fading shadows, a discord . . .

Clue: “I have no clue what she wants for Valentine’s day!”
“Really? You have NO clue? I barely hang out with you two, and, man, I can tell you she’s been dropping hints like they’re the sun setting in December.”
“Well.”
“Well, nothing. Get your ass to the flower store, make a reservation at Amical and think of something interesting to talk about for an hour other than golf clubs. And get the bracelet at the jewelry store downtown – the one in the window.”

Flirt: She flirted with me like it was her middle name. Like it was the sun. Like there was a bookshelf full of books and a fresh pot of coffee. Like a dog barks at cars. Like when a President of the United States of America dies and there’s a special report on TV. Like she is something beautiful captured in something cold – like a ripe red cherry in an icicle. Like she was being graded by God. Like her parents weren’t watching.

Techie Lawyers

From You Can’t Make Lawyers into Techies: 3 Lessons About LPM:

Certainly, lawyers are not Luddites, determined to resist progress and deny any change. It’s that they are lawyers, not IT types. So that’s Lesson One: You can’t make lawyers talk IT; IT has to learn to talk lawyer.

Lesson Two is that lawyers insist on immediate gratification. They will happily sacrifice technological sophistication with its attendant steep learning curve for instant utility.

Lesson Three is the need for patience when introducing any sweeping change that seriously impacts traditional behaviors.  Lawyers don’t welcome transformative changes, but they will accept sequential phase shifts if only because their competitors do.

Summer Shandy

He was sitting on the porch near the shadow of the gazebo, rocking on the coiled-wire hinge of his deck chair. The August sun was waning as evening – and with it dinner – approached. He allowed himself to let his focus blur as he took a long pull that finished the bottle of Summer Shandy he’d been nursing for the past half-hour. The waves of Lake Michigan and the sandy shores had called it a truce for the day, and were in the process of retreating to their front lines. And then the baritone grate of the sliding door jostled him upright in his chair, and as he slowed the pulse of his rocker she said, “dinner’s ready.”

Written from 6:40 am to 7:00 am on Thursday, February 9th, 2012 at home in Traverse City, Michigan.

Top 5 Regrets of the Dying

From the UK Guardian, a nurse polled dying patients for their regrets. The top five results were:

  1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
  2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
  3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
  4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
  5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This reminds me of a country song I used to listen to on the bus ride to North Campus at the University of Michigan for piano class. The song was, “I Hope You Dance,” by Lee Ann Womack. Its message is one of those cliches that encourages you to seize the day, live without regrets, etc. that is in horrible conflict with the fact that 99% of us have to work very hard for a living. Yet that song, along with dozens of quotes that I come upon each month while browsing the internet and the above informal poll, all work to remind us to be conscious of our mortality and that of those around us.

I’ve found that No. 1 is difficult and always will be difficult because I care about those around me, and because of that love I am committed to living, at least in part, for them – as a husband, as a son, as a brother, as a friend. Inevitably, that pulls at my own selfish desires. That’s okay! No. 2 is a life-long challenge, but pursuing a profession that I find rewarding helps balance the reality of sitting inside on sunny days. I’m a man, so No. 3 doesn’t exist. Juuuuust kidding. I am better at expressing my feelings through writing than vebally, but that’s a start. No. 4 will always be difficult because it’s like trying to hit a moving target. Who’s married, single, in town, not too busy, I still have contact information for, etc. There’s a multitude of variables, and not enough time. Most important is to remember to keep putting myself out there, and ask friends out instead of waiting for an invitation.