Tales of my life as told by me.
Hemingway said once:
I believe that basically you write for two people; yourself to try to make it absolutely perfect; or if not that then wonderful; Then you write for who you love whether she can read or write or not and whether she is alive or dead.
I agree with this even if I don’t know who I love at the time or if I feel that no one is currently in love with me. If I am writing there must be someone out there who either loves me for what I write or loves the simple fact that I write.
If I’m not writing for someone else – someone who loves me – then I am writing for myself. I am usually trying to perfect some distant memory or mash together what’s left over of my past to make sense of it. When I look back at my life most things that seemed complicated at the time are now decidedly straightforward – the slow fade of life. There is always more than I remember. The “more” is what I satisfy with my writing. Whether it is exact, perfect, non-fiction, or the exact opposite doesn’t matter. What matters is what I want to remember and how I choose to share it.
So, yeah. I can agree with Hemingway. I write to perfect my life. I write for the woman I love. I may even be writing or you.
This is actually a highly modified version of the Proust Questionnaire, a questionnaire that was popularized by Marcel Proust in the late 1800s. The questionnaire was later picked up by Bernard Pivot and used on his French television show where James Lipton, the host of Inside the Actors Studio adapted it for his own use. My responses are to the questions posed by Lipton.
Q: What is your favorite word?
A: Ridiculous
Q: What is your least favorite word?
A: Whatever. Or fine.
Q: What turns you on creatively?
A: Comfort. Nostalgia. The dark. Music.
Q: What turns you off?
A: Pessimism. Apathy. Ambivalence.
Q: What is your favorite curse word?
A: Depends on how badly I’m golfing.
Q: What sound or noise do you love?
A: UM football crowd. Silence. Shower.
Q: What sound or noise do you hate?
A: The fish tank when it is not full.
Q: What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
A: Travel journalist, novelist, pro golfer, entrepreneur.
Q: What profession would you not like to do?
A: Accountant, country western singer, IT manager.
Q: If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
A: Your family and friends are right this way.
I saw the following movies in the theater in 2008:
I saw the following movies that were released in theaters in 2008 on DVD:
I am a student, which makes me many things. The upside to being a student is the flexible schedule. I may have three days of early classes and four days off. I may have to get up at 7am three days and be able to sleep until noon (which I don’t like doing) the other four days.
The downside of being a student is the lack of routine. I don’t like the splatter-paint approach to getting things done. There is little lead time allowed when I need to remember five to ten cases worth of reading for the next day’s class. Thus, reading ahead is a thing of the past, replaced with a chaotic sprint reading session that leaves me burned out. Being burned out everyday gets old, but that is the approach that has come to work for me over the past two years of studying the law.
I don’t want routine, so much as the ability to sit in silence when I need to. I read best very early in the morning. From 5am to 8am. During these hours there are no possible distractions. But it is more than that. I am able to hone in and read efficiently. My well-rested mind is fresh and receptive to the words on the page. As the day runs on, my ability and desire to read anything greatly diminishes.
I am most creative and write best late at night. From 10pm to 3am. I discovered this in undergrad when, regardless of early classes, and sometimes because of them if there was a deadline to meet, I would write just to write with a single favorite song on repeat and the lights turned off. It was during these hours that I could develop a rhythm and maintain a flow — two very cliche words, I know. There is more possibility for me in the silence of the night than there is in the rushed noise of the day.
My writing is not an efficient process. I am neither quick nor accurate on my first attempts at expressing what I have to say. Instead, I chip away. I love reading what I write. I like hearing it in my head and out loud. A successful phrase is the catalyst of my insomnia.
Aside from studying, writing, and other work, my day is, as I have said above, often scrambled. I make a point to eat breakfast and dinner. A snack suffices between. Since the beginning of this past summer I have worked out semi-regularly (far more regularly than ever before in my life). I appreciate the workouts. They relieve stress and tire me out.
This post was inspired by what may be my new favorite blog — Daily Routines — which collects insights into the daily routines of writers, artists, and other interesting people.
I’ll admit that in my four years as an amateur blogger I’ve had some missteps. I’ve posted things that were too personal. I’ve turned friends and family away at times. I’ve crossed the line and been to vulgar, for I am not a vulgar person. (Not in print anyway.)
But, my biggest regret of all is not keeping an archive of all of my writing over the years. Even offline, I seem to have misplaced much of my work. Most of it was post-adolescent drivel. But floating in the drivel were a few good posts — posts that were particularly insightful to my situation at that moment in time.
I miss all my old blogs. I’ll never forget my first post ever, which was about how many green M&M’s I found that day in my snack. I didn’t have rules for myself when I started blogging. I just wrote whatever I felt like writing. I linked to stuff. I posted videos, pictures… I posted drivel. If there was a way to import drivel — real gooey drivel — into the interweb, I would have posted it.
Please forgive my nostalgic yearnings. I wish I had better records of a lot of things, but that’s not what I’m told I live for. I’m here to move forward. Grow up. Keep writing, but not worry about the past so much. I’ll just consider this a lesson learned. To keep the blog running, even when everything else seems to be ending, changing, or swirling around me.
The drivel will tell all!