OneWord: Couch

The couch in the livingroom has a thin film of Yogi slobber. It’s hairy and marred from claws gripping and sharp buttons scraping. But its the couch we got married on. Yes, we got married while sitting on a couch in our living room. It’s not even a full sized couch! It’s a love seat. And our minister, who was on the couch with us, is, according to his mother, June, husky. Sitting between my beautiful bride who was consumed by dozens of layers of crinoline and a plump sweaty semi-stranger was not ideal on a 95* June day. But the couch was important to us.

Our immediate family – six of them – managed to fit on our three-seater couch across the room from us. My sister-in-law (to be at the time) readjusted mid-ceremony and caused the remote control, which was apparently under the third couch cushion, to activate the television. The Golf Channel flashed on at full volume. I did my best not to be distracted during the homily as the immediate family scrambled to mute the television. Their sweaty flesh shifting on and separating from the damp leather sounded like sheets being ripped apart by rabid wolves. Afterwords, even the extended family and friends who were seated outside on the small community lawn along Eighth Street on couches they brought, said they could hear the commotion and feared that I had defected to the “Divot side.” I thought, at the time, that the “Divot side” wasn’t very clever. But what else are non-golfers going to say?

Fall Golf & Website Update

Lindsey and I trekked over to Gaylord to use a couple of free-round coupons for The Tribute golf course at the Otsego Club. I think the rest of Northern Michigan had the same idea. It was one of the slowest rounds of golf ever. The course was nice (I holed out for eagle on one of the par 5’s on the front nine!!!). However, we called it quits after it took four hours to play 12 holes.

We had a good “old” dinner at the Suger Bowl in downtown Gaylord where we were the youngest couple in the restaurant by a good 30 years!

There was lots of wedding talk – and we’re trying to nail down the rehearsal dinner location. When it comes down to it, it’s tough to find a place to host a large group the week before the Fourth of July! One of the many “joys” of fudgie season in Traverse City.

As you can see, the engagement/wedding website is slowly taking shape. I added a countdown timer today, and we’re hoping to post profiles of the bride-elect and groom-elect this week… and then follow with the rest of the wedding party and families.

Have a great week and feel free to comment or contact us if you have any tips or just want to say hello!

Being in a Wedding

Being the best man in my cousin Tim’s wedding was one of the most stressful moments in my life. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I accepted his invitation. However, I was excited as well. My wedding experience was picking up. Age of 14: attend first wedding. Age of 26: attend first friend’s wedding. Age of 27: be in a wedding.

WAIT! Be IN a wedding? I played it cool, mainly because I was busy with school. But, then, suddenly, I was boarding a plan to Minnesota and I hadn’t thought much about what being the best man required of me. I began Googling “best man duties,” which returned a variety of lists that turned out, looking back, to be wholly inadequate. The listed duties focused on ensuring the groom had packed his bags for the honeymoon. Well, there was no immediate honeymoon planned.

So, what do I do? My two big responsibilities were down to: (1) holding the rings at the wedding and (2) giving a toast prior to the reception dinner. That sounds easy enough, unless you know how bad I am at giving coherent toasts.

I spent all of Friday running errands with Tim, who appeared far calmer than I felt. He had his few things to do – pick up tuxes and the wedding rings, get a haircut, buy lighters, and buy new car tires. Here, I had thought that the day prior to one’s big day was to be spent in chaos, meticulously preparing for more chaos. But no, he had time to give me a tour of the city and make a decision between touring and mid-level summer tires. (He had driven over on winter tires, which, when used in warmer months, sounds like the car is unzipping the road.)

The rehearsal dinner was fine. I met my equal – the maid of honor who was the bride-to-be’s younger sister. The families chatted over pizza until we were shipped off to the church. I’m told this is all routine.

It wasn’t until three hours prior to the wedding that I began to stress. I didn’t – couldn’t – do much to change how things would play out, but I learned a lot in the process. Thanks to another of Tim’s groomsman, who possessed far more wedding experience than me, things went smoothly. I’m not talking about big things. I’m focusing on the minutia of the whole wedding day. I’m referring to guy stuff that smooths the edges. What I’m talking about is stuff not listed on’s list of best man duties – mainly, cigars and cars. Gabe came through on the cigars and we arranged some cars.

Actually standing in the wedding was exhausting. All sorts of things were racing through my head: smile, don’t look at the bride’s maids for fear of crying myself, don’t annoy the bride, do I have the rings?, stand still, don’t fart, wow it’s hot, wow the pastor is talking forever, etc. I had my shoulders locked in such a way that they would be sore for three days. I’ve lifted weights and been less sore.

The DJ, who upon our arrival at the reception, was dressed in a leather vest, had disappeared along with the know-how of how to operate his microphone. Once that was smoothed out, I kept my toast short and not-too-awkward. The bride and groom are great people. It was easy to toast them. Plus, they had made the excellent decision of serving breakfast food complete with an omelet bar for dinner, so I wasn’t about to delay getting to that.

The experience was fun and it was an honor to be Tim’s best man. Perhaps from seeing too many movies, I expected a groom to have some jitters. But there was none of that. He was a rock because he knew he was making the right decision in marrying Olivia. That was cool to see.