Category: Our Experiences

Tales of my life as told by me.

  • My Kingdoms Stand – For Now

    Today I read Peter Forbes’ speech, “Conservation in the Age of Consequence.” (Link) The message is profound, and the delivery is memorable. I’m a big speech nut, so I was hooked after the first page in which he asked:

    Pause for a second. Think back to when you were 8, 10 and 12 years old. Re-connect with that place that most inspired you as a young person. Perhaps it was your grandparent’s farm, or a park, an urban garden, or a pond where you grew up, or a place that you visited just once. Now, show of hands, for how many of you would that place be impossible to find because it simply no longer exists

    I thought for a moment about my childhood and four places came to mind.

    The first was The Pathfinder School, which I attended from pre-school through seventh grade. At Pathfinder I was literally educated in nature. The campus is set in the woods along Cedar Lake near Traverse City, Michigan. Upon entering the school you’re greeted by a small office, a large soccer field and a fifty-seven step stairway that leads you to the upper campus. I know those stairs well, as I walked them several times a day for years. One of my most vivid memories of Pathfinder is shaking the snow off of a sapling pine tree on my way to third grade homeroom. I have returned since, and the tree, which was once no taller than my eight-year-old self, is now much taller. But it is still there! I remember another giant tree on recess that had a network of exposed roots that we used to climb on and run around. To my ten-year-old self, that was an amazing and fun tree. I remember the hall of cedars outside the science cabin. Two long rows down which my twelve-year-old self could run. Among all these trees were old buildings and cabins built of stone and wood, parsed together with slightly newer stone and wood. I could feel the unevenness – the effect of time on each and every classroom in which I stepped. The old brown carpeting worn thin by thousands of playful footsteps rose and fell with the ground beneath. It was in these buildings among the Pathfinder wood that I went from eight to ten to twelve. The fields, woods and people that I literally grew taller with.

    The second moment that came to mind was hiking the end of Old Mission Peninsula with my father and our dog Sunshine. I have pictures of me in a blue nylon jacket and a hat that looks like a bear. I have the same intense stare then as you might catch me with now, should I be deep in thought. I remember little about the actual hikes back then, but I do remember sitting on a high wooden bench and eating a snack during the hike.

    The third memory is biking through the cherry orchards to a general store called Underwood Orchards. My best friend for years, Todd Hale, who lived next door to me for much of my childhood would bike over with me. These trips are countless now, but vivid nonetheless. After obtaining permission from whichever parents were around, we’d set out on our mountain bikes through the tall and think orchard grass. Todd would head down one row of trees and I down another. Depending on the time of summer, there might be blossoms, yellowish cherries or dark red cherries. At the general store we’d sample fresh apple cider from the barrels implanted in the back wall before buying candy to fuel our ride home. Late in the fall, I would go there with my family to buy homemade donuts and cider after picking out a pumpkin to carve.

    The fourth location (of many more) is Michigan’s Upper Peninsula. Each summer, as a child, my family would travel to Ishpeming, Michigan to visit my grandparents, aunt, uncle and two cousins. The car ride was long and I left friends behind, but those many trips developed in me what is now a profound appreciation for the Upper Peninsula’s landscape and people. There is a rocky bluff behing my grandparents’ house in Ishpeming. I remember being eight, ten or twelve and hiking that bluff with my grandfather and father. Once, we picked wild blueberries, which I put in a small pocket of a new frog-shaped backpack I has just been given. By the end of the hike, there was blueberry jam in my backpack that left a huge purple stain on it that never came out.

    Perhaps I am one of the lucky few that wouldn’t be raising their hand because my childhood memories had been leveled and developed into nonexistence. Sure, things have changed. Pathfinder has a new entrance that cuts through part of the old soccer field in which I ran and played, but the fifty-seven steps are still there as are the trees with which I grew taller. The trail system on Old Mission Peninsula has actually grown much larger and includes twice the trails that my dad and I hiked when I was eight. The cherry orchard has changed along with the general store, but not completely. Thankfully, they’re not all gone. In their place are new cherry trees, rows of grapes and a winery. As I said the other night, I’m fortunate that my back yard grew up with me. Finally, the rocky bluff behind my grandparents’ house in Ishpeming seems smaller now (I climbed it over Thanksgiving), but little has changed atop it or in the surrounding area.

    None of the childhood experiences at any of my four kingdoms was a deliberate attempt to “be outside.” Rather, the beauty and space was there and I did my best to fill it with laughter and fun. In return, I am left with irreplaceable memories of an unparalleled childhood.

    I’m convinced that my adulthood will be equally as magnificent, but I am starting to realize the enormous amount of perseverance and hard work that is and will be required to maintain that which I have taken for granted much of my life.

    After being away for many years, I’ve made a conscious decision to return and stay in the area that grew me up. Like Forbes says in his speech, “The most radical thing one can do today is to stay put and really love a place.” I’ll spend a lifetime learning what that means and how best to protect the land that lies beneath my many childhood memories.

    My kingdoms stand for now, but it’s up to me to ensure they remain.

  • Youthful Smiling Faces

    Last weekend I stood among one dozen youthful and smiling faces. Beyond was Lake Michigan, its muted blue and green water as stormy as the sky. Waves with whitecaps crashed on the sandy shore far below our perch, but made no sound. There was a cold wind that swept up and over the face of the dune and carried with it sand and snow that felt like a billion little supermen punching my radish cheeks.

    I sat on the hard yellow sand and closed my watery eyes for a moment to imagine the warm summer day when I ran down the steep dune path (dimpled from climbers). The water was still and transparent then, which allowed me to see rocks near the shore and splotches of seaweed further out. I want to say I could feel the warmth of that summer day sun as I sat there with my eyes closed, but there’s no way. The wind whipping over the precipice of the dune carried away not only sand and snow, but also the remainder of my summer memory. As quickly as I had displaced my presence, I was brought back to the present by a chill that rattled my vertebrae.

    Above me, dogs wove in and out of multicolored snow-pant pillars, playing and flirting with each other in a manner of which the rest of us could only dream.

    When we lined up for a group picture, backs to the beauty, our smiles ran left-and-right and up-and-down. Big goofy sand-filled grins, all seeming to say, ‘I’m having fun if you are!’ And in that precise moment I realized that we were (and are) fractions of each other’s happiness. Without any number of us there, the wind would carry a sharper bite, the gray sky would be less magnificent, and our pictures – memories – and lives would be less brilliant.

  • Photography: Jealousy & Beauty

    Lately, I’ve been thinking about what I want to get out of my photographs. I keep coming back to two things:

    1. Jealousy: I want to make anyone who looks at my pictures wish there were standing beside me at the moment I took the picture; and
    2. Beauty: I want to make the subject, whether it be a landscape or a person, look beautiful.

    I realize there is an opposite side to this. If I were to take pictures of war or tragedy, then I’d probably be going for loneliness and devastation. But the point is that, for me, the spectrum of photography (whatever that means) is both very linear and polarized. Anything in between is probably a bad picture.

  • Veterans Day

    Thank you to all of the veterans who fought for the freedom of the United States of America. I cannot imagine the bravery, selflessness or call to duty to which you committed yourself, and it is something that will forever move me.

    It is impossible to argue that I do not take for granted the freedom for which you have risked your life, for no amount of thanks or recognition that I or anyone else gives you could revive what you, your families and friends could have lost – your vigor – your pep – your esprit – your life — your love.

    My late grandfather, Clifton Francis Rogers, served for two years on the USS Rowan, landing in Nagasaki. Whether I was too young or it didn’t seem right, I never thanked him for serving, but his service was and continues to be one of the many things I admire about him.

    My uncle John Goebel served. Thank you, Uncle John, for your service.

    My uncle Guy Goebel served. Thank you, Uncle Guy, for your service.

    My uncle Jon Palomaki served. Thank you, Uncle Jon, for your service.

  • Finding Meaning

    It is just me or do you, too, ever look back at how you spent a day and wish you could have done more with it? Today was not one of those days, but I’ve have a few lately that, if I could tweak them a little, I would. I’m not talking about the days when bizarre or unexpected stuff happens that messes up what you had planned to accomplish. What I’m talking about is those instances when you chose to do a task that, even in the short run, didn’t have that high of a value to you.

    For example, a few days ago I opted to sync my Google contacts list with my Apple AddressBook. This wasn’t hard, but it took about an hour by the time I sorted through stuff and shifted files around. This is a chore that I know will make me happy in the very short run. I’ll be able to say, for about 24 hours, that I have no duplicates in my contacts list, that the information is accurate and well organized. In just over a week, however, discrepancies work their way back in, there are two John Smiths, etc. So, I look back at that hour I spent and wonder why I bothered. Did I spend my time wisely?

    Multiply that experience by several dozen and you get what I and most people in the digital age deal with on a monthly basis. I don’t have to look hard to find some transient discrepancy within my own little world that could use sprucing up. But why? What is the cost? And what is the alternative?

    Why re-sort my storage shed instead of trying to write a book? Why search for duplicate songs in my iTunes instead of learning how to better invest my savings? There are a dozen trade-offs that I face everyday, and many times I make productive decisions, but there is also a lot of waste. The waste is getting to me because there are an increasing number of distractions (for whatever reason).

    A certain order is necessary, and a variable amount of time and effort is required to maintain that order. But I’ve always believed in two things:

    1. Little things done right can change big wrong things; and
    2. Never let the big picture fall (too far) out of focus.

    I propose that instead of doing something mindless and long-run-irrelevant, find meaning in something – even the little things. I’ll do the same, and the collective improvement will leave us both feeling better about our days past and our days to come.

  • TC Zombie Run

    Updated post on November 15, 2009: The TC Zombie Run was a great experience for me. Despite the rain and chill, there appeared to be a great turnout of zombies and humans alike.

    I remember being thrilled about the event upon my sister texting me about it. Looking back, it is another one of the many new and exciting events in Traverse City. Having the starting line in the Warehouse District was a good idea, as it’s not the easiest place to find and the exposure was good for the many wonderful businesses there.

    The race website offered t-shirts to early registrants, which is was both a great incentive to sign-up early and good advertising year round. I procrastinated and missed out, but will be on top of it next year!

    I’d like to thank organizers, volunteers and sponsors for putting on the race. The comment below brought to my attention that the race raised $8,000.00 for the TART trails, which is awesome!

    I will be back next year and I’ll bring with me as many other zombies and humans as I can.

  • What Are We If Not Potential?

    Pop!Tech is a:

    unique innovation network – a global community of cutting-edge leaders, thinkers, and doers from many different disciplines, who come together to explore the social impact of new technologies, the forces of change shaping our future, and new approaches to solving the world’s most significant challenges. We are known for our thriving community of thought-leaders, breakthrough innovation programs, visionary annual conferences and deep media and storytelling capabilities.

    I attended the conference in 2004 when I worked for Ruckus. I vividly remember the trip north from Washington D.C. – arriving in Portland, Maine on a JetBlue flight – driving up the coast to Camden, Maine where Pop!Tech takes place – the classic coastal views of water crashing against the rocky shore – beautiful leaves full of red, orange and yellow – the Talking Heads blasting on my car radio. By the time I arrived in cozy Camden, I was on an emotional high like none other I’d experienced before and had no idea how transforming the next few days would be.

    The conference astonished me. I couldn’t believe how many ideas, things and experiences there were beyond those I held personally. I tried to capture as much of the conference as possible by furiously taking notes and recording the conference on my iPod. (I didn’t know that it would later be available online and they had yet to start showing it live or post videos – now they do both.)

    I quickly realized that there was no way that I could process all of the information being presented, and didn’t, and still haven’t! I’ve still got the notes and look at them from time to time. I’ve kept up online since, but the experience isn’t the same as when you’re sitting in the Camden Opera House elbow to elbow with a bunch of geeks, entrepreneurs, artists, and thinkers. There is an atmosphere to it – an atmosphere that I’ve found present few other places – Sundance to a degree, the Traverse City Film Festival, and a handful of undergrad and law school lectures.

    For all of the schooling I’ve been through at the University of Michigan and the Franklin Pierce Law Center, I look back and must say that I am underwhelmed by both of the experiences. There are a scant few professors, classes, and individual lectures that moved me the way Pop!Tech did/does. There is a difference – conferences have exciting presenters and powerful streamlined flashy ideas. I don’t care. At the end, higher education should be as powerful as a good conference presentation. Students should leave each semester with an excitement and hunger for more information.

    If I were to travel back, knowing what I now know, I would do only two things differently. First, I would major in English instead of Economics. I thought I would make more money majoring in Economics. Whether that was true or not, I now view it a foolish. I should have followed my heart and my talents, which both fell firmly in the English Department. Second, I would worry more about the courses that captivated me than those that fulfilled some predetermined study path – e.g., concentrating on financial economics, etc. I closed a lot of doors before I looked through them.

    As I walk through life meeting new people, moving to new places, and attempting new challenges, I am slowly coming to the realization that doing is living – that if I don’t open my mouth or take the first step or make a decision then the world will continue and I will stay. I think back to Pop!Tech 2004 when I say that because although I took in a lot of information at that conference and it exposed me to many new things, I didn’t stick out my hand and introduce myself, I didn’t realize how much I had to give, and I still feel as though I’m hoarding my experience and knowledge. It bring me to tears, as I write this, to think about what I could do and what I have done and I feel as though I’ve let the world down. I realize that’s a very narcissistic thing to say, but the feeling of great personal potential is something I’ve come to believe is integral to being human. What are we if not potential? There is a bigger message here than me feeling a responsibility to make this world better – it is that we should all be doing our part everyday to make this world a better place to live in now and in the future.

    With all of that said, I’ve been watching a good deal of the 2009 Pop!Tech conference via their live stream. I like the theme this year – America Reimagined. It places the focus on home, while showing what we can do to make a better world. I am personally setting goals for the coming year that will change the feeling of lost potential and make the world a better place for all of us.