Gaze about from where you stand. Spin in circles ’til you’re dizzy as a child exiting the best merry-go-round ride she’s ever had. Look up at the humongous sky above and wonder aloud what’s beyond the antique clouds and shimmering stars. Watch the yellow leaves fall and remember it was a hot and dry and brilliant summer that left us with more than a handful of memories. And then, in good time, when the wind blows hard down the paths that we happen upon and the warmth has dissipated, take another moment to wrap the textures of life all around you like a hundred blankets quilted from everything that’s so much bigger than any single one of us could ever imagine. Remember summer. Enjoy fall. And look forward to all that is to come.
Tag: memories
I Will Forge On
The following quote by Clint Eastwood got me thinking about stuff that I’ve been thinking about more lately than before.
My father died very suddenly at sixty-three. Just dropped dead. For a long time afterward, I’d ask myself, Why didn’t I ask him to play golf more? Why didn’t I spend more time with him? But when you’re off trying to get the brass ring, you forget and overlook those little things. It gives you a certain amount of regret later on, but there’s nothing you can do about it. So you just forge on. (link)
I feel like this a lot lately. Not just with my father, but with my mother, sister, and friends. Even the dogs. Life passes so quickly that I often find it difficult to keep up. I wish there were 48 hours in each day so that I could call home more often, play an extra round of golf, or just shoot the shit with the people that mean the most to me.
We traveled a lot when I was a kid. We went to Disney World, out West on a train, skiing at Vail, and many other places. I see now, more than ever, how difficult it is (and how much more difficult it is becoming despite cell phones, skype, IM, etc.) to keep in touch – to get people together – to squeeze in a round of golf between school, work, travel, and whatever else occupies my time.
Grand plans are nice, but not required. Activities that were once trivial now create some of my most cherished memories. It is the short sunny hikes, silent hours on the couch, grabbing a quick beer, or riding into town that give me a chance to catch up. I rarely have much to say, but it’s nice just to be there. To be with family. To be around friends. It is in doing things with these people that I prove my lonely stubbornness wrong and find meaning in my life.
I do forge on, Clint. But I also wake up each morning wondering if I’m making enough of an effort. If I’m talking enough. If I’m doing enough. If I’m headed in the right direction. If… if… if… And these “ifs” will forever remain. There will seldom be definite answers. But I think that is okay because in the end I’ll have definite memories, too. I’ll forge on with my definite memories held closer than most other things I cherish. Those memories will comfort me that I did enough, and that although I could have done more, I am so fortunate to have the memories I do have.
Law School Is Half Over
The end of my Evidence final came at 11:28am today. I am now chronologically halfway done with law school. (I think I’m a bit ahead credits-wise.) So, time to review my life.
Making the decision to go to law school was one of the hardest choices of my life. It didn’t seem like it at the time, but when I look at the time-line of my application process, it spans years and takes a few pit stops.
I took two years off after graduating from the University of Michigan in 2004. During those years I worked for two start-ups. The first, Ruckus, was a blast and forever changed my expectations for what I want out of a job – both good and bad. I was able to be creative and had very few limitations, but the down side of that was semi-chaos that left me anxious and beat at the end of the day. The second was K12, a start-up that was further along. It was more “corporate,” but still had a newness to it.
It wasn’t a complete coincidence that both Ruckus and K12 were education related. Ruckus provided digital entertainment to college kids (a slogan I’ll never forget) and K12 is a virtual curriculum. The people that helped me into those companies felt strongly about the importance of education and expanding education.
I can’t say with certainty what 1.5 years of law school has given me. There have been plenty of highs and lows. I’ve been to China to study, something I never took the time to do in undergrad. The coursework is becoming more interesting and application of it comes with more ease.
What I still lack is the notion of how to bring together prior experience, my undergrad studies and what I’m learning in law school. And then, once it’s together is some loose metaphysical ball secured with mental twine and spare post-it notes, how to apply it.
I look forward to figuring that out. Meanwhile, I have a month-long break before I start in on Law School: Part Deux.
1L Classmates’ First Semester Memories
– Law has reason
– The cookie lady… being funny
– No time to do things well
– Midterm nightmares
– Our group being bad at passing papers across the row
– Introducing ourselves
– Engagement
– Variety of personalities
– Getting called on for the first time
– Research Report #2
– School’s care for 1Ls
– Contracts and cases involving women
– Causation expert in Torts
– October was the worst month
– Knowing you can survive
– Forgetting the clicker for Civ Pro
– Hard drive dying the Monday before the Civ Pro midterm
– Torts prof calling on a white shirt instead of red
– Exploding rat case in Torts
– Barry Shanks’ impersonations
– Southern kid getting welcomed to “Yankee Land”
– “Small-town Brooklyn”
– Writing down the reason why we’re in law school
– Feeling like you’re the dumbest person in the room… there’s only one
– Torts prof talking about loss of consortium (man had lost his hand)
– Lack of sleep
– Brad’s dance
– Contract professor assigning wrong problems
– Missing first day of Contracts because of accident on I-93
– Acoustics in the corner of the Rich Room
– Overestimating the amount of stress
– Weekly research assignments
– “Thanksgiving research assignment”
– Learning to like research
– Torts prof saying, “You should be very nervous about the exam”
– CivPro prof reciting all of our names from memory
– Property prof’s Halloween costume
– Question and answer from 1st Circuit arguments
– Every moment
– Getting confused by class
– Practice Torts exam – herd of charging buffalo and resultant dream
– 1/6th done
– Getting to take a nap after class
– Lack of decent restaurants in Concord
– Moving around in class to not get called on (according to prof, it works)… the girl was never called on in Torts or Contracts
– The amount of chalk Contracts prof could get on his face
– Missed Research Report #3 deadline
– CivPro map of Oklahoma
– Learning about the Dram Shop act, then experiencing it in real life
– “Slippery slope,” and something about dime and dollar
– Hating Concord, NH
– Getting called on… big difference from undergrad
– Contracts prof saying something about something
– “I see us as a little family.”
– The coffee… “never drank so much”
– “Rotting jeep” from oral arguments
– Enforcement of “sit in the middle” rule
– Now I can finally sleep in
– Getting called on when not prepared
– Getting called on again
– Contracts professor asking classmate if she was a buddhist because she kept making something out of nothing
– Name cards
– Difficulty with writing $750,000
– Free pizza
– Serious orientation… then the Judges were spinning in chairs
Back Porch
The back deck was fun. We were sitting under the pines standing tall above the roof of the house. I liked to look up and try to see the sky. The table was gooey in places and I had to watch what I touched. Sticky fingers – like someone rubbed marshmallows all over.”Chris, say grace so we can get started,” mom said.
For a little bit I looked around to make sure that everyone had their hands together and heads down. “God is good, God is great. Let us thank Him for our food. By His hands we must be fed. Thank you, dear Lord for our daily bread.”
And when I finished, we all said, “Amen.”
I looked up fast – before everyone else, as if to check that we were all still there. Mom and dad were by the grill. My little sister sat still, dwarfed by the ugly yellow deck chair.
“Grandpa, how’s the baseball on TV?” I asked. He was sitting at the end of the table with his wooden cane hooked on his chair. I looked his way and my dark head of hair followed.
He muttered for a moment then said, “Who’s so tall they couldn’t see?”
“No. How’s the baseball on TV?” “Oh,” he said, still not answering. He was playing. But I guess he didn’t watch the baseball either. It was static in the background during his nap. My mind moved on. The grill smelled good, but I really just wanted to make s’mores.
It’s October!
This means a few things:
Red and yellow abound. The fall foliage will be peaking soon. Here’s some info on Vermont’s celebration on October 10. They have a flannel contest. Amazing.
I’ve known my NH friends for over a month and it seems like a lot longer… in a good way. Lots of memories.
Ski season will soon be upon us.
The Detroit Tigers are in the playoffs for the first time since 1987.